The most brutal job advert you've ever seen (2022)

A Welsh dessert shop has posted a brutally honest job advert that people have been calling "the best job advert ever". Shorties in Cwmbran put out the advertisement on their Facebook account on July 10, searching for an "awesome assistant manager, who wants a f****** job."

The owners say they've wasted their time and money in the past and asks for someone "that can hit the ground running, and not have to be told again and again". Those with managerial experience and around two years minimum of hospitality experience are encouraged to apply, however they must also have "no coke, crack, or drink problem".

The role includes supporting the store manager, supervising shifts, and looking after customer experience, however there's also a long list of what the owners don't want in their new hire.

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The job advert reads: "We’re looking for an awesome ASSISTANT MANAGER, who wants a f****** job: to jump on board with us, we don’t want Karen's or Darren’s, so please no wet wipes, or Debbie downers, I’ve heard it all before that you’re rude, you’re unprofessional, that [we're] the arseholes, you’re childish blah blah, jump on your phone and dial 0121-go-f******-do-one as you’re not what I’m looking for!

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"We need someone that can hit the ground running, and not have to be told again and again, and still f*** s*** up, we’ve wasted so much time and money, we just want someone who has a work ethic to succeed, commitment and accountability!

"Seriously now, if you’ve got the experience within a managerial role within hospitality, let’s say 2 years as a minimum requirement, with no coke, crack habit or drink problem or wants to use the shop to peddle their drugs, and definitely someone who hasn't got mould under their finger nails or nails like samurai swords, I think then that’s a good f****** start, after all we are a food establishment, not Zanzibar." Would you apply for this job? Let us know what you think in the comments.

It continues: "Is it too much to ask that someone is fully committed, wanting to kick arse and help us grow our brand, who takes things on board and works with us and not against us, if that sounds like you-then get in touch, we want our potential superstar who will come to an interview looking casually presentable and on time and not look like they’ve been dragged through a hedge with the motivation of a sloth."

For those fortunate enough to land an interview, the business advises: "You can’t bring your friend, dog, or cat to the interview either, and don’t even think of walking through the door with a can of f****** monster in your hand – I think you catch my drift."

Answering the most important question, they say: "It’s not f****** minimum wage, and no I’m not putting how much as it depends on experience and other things, there are many factors to consider. Could be 30-45% above minimum wage, but it’s all based on experience and what can be offered."

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Other details of the job of course are the hours. They say: "Hours, pay etc to be discussed, this role will involve a 30-35 hour contract, on a rota basis, and will be evenings – just to clear that up…. Start times 5/5.30 and finish times are typically 11pm. So you’ll be missing your Emmerdale and all that s****.

The owner of the store is Phillip Shortman, who became notorious for a series of eBay scams that saw him brought for the courts repeatedly and led to him being described by a judge as "a cheap confidence trickster, and not a very good one at that, as he keeps getting caught”.

When WalesOnline contacted him for a comment, he put a public post on the shop's Facebook page in which he said he did not want to speak to the press and addressed his past fraud convictions, saying he was trying to build a new life.

He wrote: "Whilst wanting a relatively quiet life and wanting to move forward, which is quite ironic for a foul mouthed and uneducated individual, I have a very chequered and off putting past, and will openly admit that. I have been in many different press outlets, over a number of years, and have been to prison numerous times.

"Released in 2016, I’ve wanted to work and graft, and overcome the issues I had, and I’ll come onto this further on, I was an extremely selfish person, and was young, and being in prison for so many years on and off, doesn’t allow you to mature because of your surroundings. I would do what I only knew best at that time, I was stuck in a revolving door."

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He continued, explaining the difficulties that followed his conviction, he said: "When released my probation officer said that he had no doubt in his mind that I would be back in." However, he said he "built himself up over the years" which led to the opening of the business he now runs.

He wrote: "It’s been a hell of a journey, I’ve tarnished myself, my family, and the family name, but all I can do is move forward, what else am I supposed to do? I have done what I have done, I can’t change this, and this is the only issue I have, people don’t want you to move forward, they want to constantly bring the past up and keep you there, and I’ve tried to protect myself from these types of people during the time running Shorties."

Referencing the job advert, he explained: "It’s all a bit of fun, it’s the things that people want to say or do but can’t, yes I want to get exposure and get more customers, how else can staff and overheads get paid otherwise! Everyone bangs on about the negatives, but what about the positives - bringing employment opportunities to the local community, brightening peoples days by our posts etc.

"We can’t please everyone, we’ve done the ‘being professional’ and we lost 20-30% custom, the way we run our socials is not exactly how the shop is run, we do not abuse staff or mistreat them, but we are a business and here to make money and eventually turn a profit.

"My staff are priority, and everything is logged, and we have cctv throughout which every business has, but I’ve got extra because of my past and wanting to protect staff and the public, as subconsciously I am aware of my past and would rather be over the top to protect everyone including myself if the need ever arises.

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"If we lose custom over this, then that is on my shoulders, but I’m fed up of trying to play hide and seek, when trying to move forward, and having people drag the past up, as that’s the only ammunition these people have."

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FAQs

What should you not say in a job advert? ›

  • 5 Things NOT to Include In Your Job Advert. Your job adverts are the starting point of each of your recruitment advertising campaigns and it's important to spend time getting them right. ...
  • Discriminatory language. ...
  • Negativity. ...
  • Jargon. ...
  • Lack of clarity. ...
  • Too much essential criteria.

Who is the woman in the totaljobs advert? ›

Katie Teresa Sheridan is an English actress. She has appeared in feature films such as Heretiks (2018) and Together (2018), and her Television roles include appearances in the BBC series Doctors, Waking the Dead and Love Soup.

What makes a bad job advertisement? ›

One of the biggest job advert mistakes you can make is to not include the full responsibilities and duties of the role. Otherwise your candidates won't know what to expect from their day-to-day role. As well as engaging the reader, your job advert needs to be clear and succinct.

Can I say physically fit in a job advert? ›

Don't use terms like “physically” fit or “energetic” – instead describe the physical requirements of the role so people with disabilities can consider whether it is suitable for them.

Can a job advert ask for 10 years experience? ›

Ageism in job adverts

When advertising a job role, employers can't include age limits, and should avoid using words which could suggest they are looking for applicants from a particular age group – for example, by using terms such as '10 years' experience', 'enthusiastic young people' or ' recent graduates'.

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